And On Sunday Tim Tebow Was Born . . .

Posted: December 13, 2011 by Kodi in NFL

He was born to his mother, Pamela, and Pastor father, Robert, in the Philippines while they were on a missionary trip. His mother had suffered a life-threatening infection and the medication used to wake her from a coma and fight off her dysentery had caused worry to her doctors. They believed the young child would never be born, that a stillbirth was more likely and they suggested an abortion to protect the mother’s life. She did not listen and that was the first miracle.

And angels told Robert who then told Pamela, “you are to give him the name Tim, because he will save his people from their sins,” and thus Tebowmania began.  

Tim Tebow was the youngest of 5 kids who were all home-schooled by their mother but in the mid-90’s legislation in the sunshine state allowed those students the ability to participate in high school athletics. Originally Tim was a LB and TE in high school, just as Jesus Christ was a Jew, but through perseverance the two figures found their true calling. Tim had to move counties to join a high school that allowed him to play QB and by his senior year he had led Nease high school to a state title and was named Florida’s Mr. Football.

Tim chose to attend the University of Florida because there was history at the school: his parents had met on that campus while both attending college. While he was a Gator, Tim won the 2006 and 2008 National Championships, while on his way to earning the 2007 Heisman Trophy. He left Florida competing 669 of his 995 pass attempts, a 66.4 completion percentage, throwing for over 9285 yards, 88 TDs and just 16 interceptions. He also ran the ball 692 times for 2947 yards and 57 rushing TDs. Tim finished his college career with the 2nd best passing efficiency rating in college football history, the most career passing TDs in the SEC the best completion percentage in the SEC top 15 all-time in NCAA history, with the 3rd best passing yard per attempt average all-time and the most rushing TDs in SEC history which ranks 4th most of all-time.

Tim Tebow may be one of the greatest college QB’s of all-time, and I dare you to try and name 5 better, but throughout his collegiate career many doubted whether he could take it to the next level or not. The buzz that surrounded this young man was enormous and he had both his supporters and his staunch cynics, but like JC, Tebow just kept going. The greatest moment in Tebow’s career may be his infamous crying after losing his opportunity at a 2nd National Championship but I personally love his first. In the 2007 season Tebow and the Gators faced off against Sam Bradford and the Oklahoma Sooners but it wasn’t anything on the field that I loved it was the television broadcast.

Thom Brennaman is a pretty popular football analyst but during the National Championship broadcast he just couldn’t contain his pure joy about Tebow. Tim had just ran 8 yards for a first down early in the game, a pretty uneventful play, but Brennaman saw his first opportunity to start gushing about this young QB. Thom Brennaman told the audience “if you’re fortunate enough to spend 5 minutes or 20 with Tim Tebow, your life is better for it.” He continued to explain that “his remarkable achievements off the field define him far more than those on the field.”

Tebow’s father is a Pastor and Tim was born in the Philippines because of his father’s missionary work in the country, but it is also the place key for Tim’s off the field achievements. What was he doing? The normal charity work you know feeding the poor, healing the sick and circumcising young children.

“The first time, it was nerve-racking.” Tim then explained that his “hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I’m cutting somebody. You can’t do those kinds of things in the United States.”

No shit.

I’m pretty sure that you shouldn’t be grabbing little Asian johnsons and snipping the tip back here in the states but luckily for Tim he can do almost anything in the Pacific. It wasn’t that Tim was doing it for himself, he explained that “we needed to help them;” those little boys had to have their penises chopped by a 19 year-old white QB from the Florida panhandle. Jesus Christ taught man how to fish and Tim Tebow taught young Filipino boys how to keep their dicks clean and love God because that’s what Tim Tebow does.

There was a possibility of Tim Tebow going anywhere from the top 10 picks or sliding all the way down to a 3rd or 4th round draft selection. “Only one team has to like you” Tim said.  “this time it was a great coach in coach McDaniels. I am so blessed to go there.”  The “there” Tim was referring to was Denver who had selected Tebow with the 25th overall pick after trading their 2nd, 3rd and 4th round picks to the Baltimore Ravens to move up and take the Florida QB. Tebow however wasn’t nearly as surprised as everyone else because he knew that there was a “connection” in Denver after hitting it off with Broncos HC Josh McDaniels.

In the events leading up to the 2010 season the Broncos had traded WR Brandon Marshall and RB Peyton Hillis in hopes of improving on their 8-8 record from ’09. The Broncos however went on to set a franchise record for losses, ending the year 4-12 subsequently leading to McDaniels firing in the middle of the year.  In a dark world there was light and that shining star was Tim Tebow who got his first opportunity to start in the NFL on December 19, 2010.

He lost to the Raiders but had a 40-yard TD run, which was the longest in franchise history by any QB. He also threw for a TD that was a 33-yard connection and with that he became just the 3rd player in NFL history to run a TD over 40 yards and pass for one over 30. He had a passer rating above 100, which was the highest ever in Broncos history by a QB in their first game. His first victory in the NFL would come just a day after JC’s birthday, the 26th of December, when he led his team to a 24-23 victory over the Texans after trailing 17-0 at halftime. This will be a reoccurring story in the legend of Tim Tebow because the kid turns it on in the final moments.

Tim was using sparingly throughout 2010 but was given the opportunity to start the final 3 games of the season and gave the Denver faithful a reason to convert. Tebow’s mechanics are not what the NFL is used to seeing out of a winning QB but it seemed that the young man’s career was dead before it even started. McDaniels had invested highly in Tebow but he was axed and the Broncos brought in John Elway as the VP of Football Operations and John Fox to become Head Coach. Neither was incredibly optimistic about the young man, but then again Jesus had his early skeptics too.

It seemed that after Tebow’s continued crucifixion for not being a “normal” NFL QB he had been buried on the depth chart. He was behind QBs Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn and Fox seemed to be determining whether it was Tebow or former Minnesota Gophers QB Adam Weber that would make the roster. Tebow was being shunned and rejected, just like Catholicism during its early stages, because the new and different approach to something, be it religion or football, is incredibly difficult to face. Each individual has to deal with that decision on their own and ultimately it is their choice: do they fall for Tebowmania or not?

It took a 1-4 start by the Broncos under Kyle Orton before HC John Fox was ready to make the switch and give the young kid a chance. The Tebow pulpit had put up billboards and taken out advertising in local newspapers begging to let their golden boy get back under center. Tebow was given that chance during a game against their division rival San Diego Chargers. Tebow fought back from a 16 point deficit but didn’t have enough time to make the comeback, ultimately losing 29-24. Fox was so impressed by Tebow’s performance that he named Tim the starter for their next game against the Miami Dolphins.

It just so happened that the Miami Dolphins were going to honor the QB by throwing “Tim Tebow Day” on the Sunday Denver came in to play. A team had a ceremony for a visiting player and those Tebow fans were in for one of the QBs greatest moments, like those who watched as JC gave the blind man his sight back. Tim was down 15 points with 3 minutes left and eventually led the Broncos to a 18-15 win in overtime and he slowly began his conversions.

Dolphins LB Karlos Dansby became a believer telling Jim Rome on his radio show that “[the Dolphins] losing to Tim Tebow the way we did, we seen it first hand, young man is blessed.” Dansby continued “for God to show himself in that game the way He did, through the guy He did it through, it opened a lot of guys’ eyes on our team. And it brought a lot of guys closer to God, so like I said, everything happens for a reason.” But Dansby wasn’t done saying that “my hat goes off to Tim. And God working through him like that, it opened up a lot of eyes. He’s a blessed young man and I wish him much success the rest of his career.”

Holy Shit! This was said after just a single victory; not to say that his performance wasn’t incredible but what if this guy keeps winning, is it the equivalent to JC walking on water? After the great win in Miami the media began to follow the prophet closely and a neologism was created for the young man’s propensity to kneel and pray on the sideline. It was dubbed “Tebowing” and quickly spread around the world and the flock imitated their shepherd, their golden child, Tim Tebow.

The following game Tebow and the Broncos were destroyed 45-10 by the Lions but like those who wrote about JC will leave his misfortunes on the cutting room floor and only speak of the incredible. Nobody wants to know about when the prophet failed, like the time JC fell to the bottom of the Red Sea only to be saved by Moses. Nobody has ever heard of that story because it only hurts the legacy and the same can be said about Tebow’s dismal performance at home against the Lions.

Since then Tebow has rattled off 6 straight wins. His team is leading their division and may be on their way to a playoff berth. The last victory came against the Chicago Bears just a few days ago. Chicago was up 10-0 with just a few minutes left and once again Tim Tebow stormed downfield late in the 4th quarter. It seemed that a victory would be unattainable but a fellow God loving player made a few crucial mistakes that led to another comeback W.

Marion Barber ran out of bounds on the Bears final drive in the 4th quarter which allowed the Broncos to have enough time to kick a game tying field goal with 9 seconds left in the game. It went to overtime and the Bears were charging towards victory yet again but Marion Barber was punished one more time. Barber and the Bears were already in kicker Robbie Gould’s field goal range and they were just trying to run the clock out and set up the game winning kick. Barber however broke free from the line and looked like he was going to run in for a TD but then a Bronco defender came in punched the ball out and gave Tebow an opportunity to win the game, which eventually happened after a Matt Prater kick.

Like Jesus, Tim doesn’t record any of his achievements but rather writes history on the field and allows the Tebow gospel to be created according to such great football minds as Peter King and Skip Bayless. Even the high priest in the Church of Satan has something to say about Tebow’s play on the football field. “Those who have a winning attitude tend to do better, and whatever fuels such team spirit, be it religious fervor or simply an overwhelming desire to succeed, is the real source for success,” Magus Peter H. Gilmore said. Gilmore continued to explain “Satanists are atheists, and we would consider any triumph to rely on a combination of skill and luck – most certainly not in any form of supernatural intervention from either Heaven or Hell”.

Tim Tebow’s current Pastor, Wayne Hanson, runs the Summitt Church in Castle Rock, Colorado, has his own theory on the situation. He believes that God is actively intervening in the Broncos game and is helping the Tebow led Broncos win games because of Tim’s faith or because he’s actually God’s son reincarnated. “It’s not luck. Luck isn’t winning 6 games in a row. It’s favor. God’s favor,” Hanson said in an interview earlier this week. “God has blessed his hard work.”

I mean it could make sense, since the Broncos are from Denver which is a mile closer to Heaven than most other cities which makes it a shorter commute for the big guy upstairs, to see his favorite star shine. Tebow’s side arm mechanics may not be what most NFL analysts see as pro-ready but it does look eerily similar to the throwing motion David used to slay Goliath.

But the real miracle here is that, like JC, Tim Tebow has turned water into wine.

Denver was a boring team with no flavors that had won just 1 of their first 5 games and were in the basement of their division without Tebow. Now with Tim, as the shepherd leading his flock of Broncos, the Denver organization and its fans have become a fruitful wine packed with late flavor. It may be a miracle, but Denver is drunk on Tebowmania and hopes to ride their prophet into the playoffs where as we all know anything can happen.

 

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Comments
  1. Annie says:

    All true, leading up to this Sunday, when the NE Patriots will remind the football nation once again, that although Tebow is blessed, he is but one man , on a team, who can fall by the wayside every now and again!! Amen! And God bless the Patriots!!

  2. Tebowner #1 says:

    Great article Kodi. Annie might be right, but if he can pull off a W vs NE I will officially join the legion of card carrying tebowmaniacs, Hell, I might be inclined to buy his jersey. I’m not kidding.

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