The Grass is Greener

Posted: September 25, 2011 by Kodi in NBA, NFL, Other


Jerome Simpson Loves To Get Mail, Especially From Humboldt County!

But there are plenty other Half Baked Athletes. . .

Kentucky is known for its blue grass but the stuff a Cincinnati Bengals player to be named later was getting sent to his house was a little danker. The authorities had been tracking a package shipped from California after a drug sniffing canine hit on it. Surprisingly the package originated in Eureka, CA located in Humboldt County a are well known for its Marijuana growing operations, so that was Simpson’s first issue.

Secondly, what turned out to be 2.5 pounds of Marijuana, big surprise, was sent to the players house where his girlfriend had signed and received the illegal narcotics. It didn’t help that one of the Bengals players teammates just happened to have stopped by when multiple law enforcement officers raided the players home.

HC Marvin Lewis allowed the player to skip practice on Thursday to deal with the matter but there have been no arrests made in the case. Cincinnati and the suburban Northern Kentucky Police departments are investigating the manner as the drugs were shipped to Ohio and driven to Simpson’s home in the Blue Grass state. During the raid authorities found another 6 pounds of weed, a bunch of glass bongs and pipes, scales and bags.

Michelle Gregory of the California Department of Justice said that “[authorities] don’t believe [the 2.5 pounds of heady chronic] was for personal use. [The authorities] don’t believe there’s some sort of distribution or sales out of this home”. No shit, I don’t know what kind of stoner is able to mash through 8.5 pounds of weed on their own no matter how bad the habit.

The Bengals have had their fair share of off-field issues but no other team can rival the stretch of bad luck they had from April 2006 to June 2007 tallying 10 different player arrests. Chris Henry racked up 5 arrests while playing for the Bengals but we know he wasn’t the alleged offender in this case. The Bengals signed Pacman Jones who has been attached to a slew of arrests in the past but this reefer wasn’t his either. Cedric Benson did some jail time just before the season but that was for assault and maybe he should have been toking a little bit but it wasn’t him either.

It was WR Jerome Simpson, who had the packaged shipped to a “Jason Snider” and that turned out to be another mistake. Gregory and the DoJ said it’s not unusual for these types of deliveries to be sent to fake names. Simpson didn’t think about what happened when the rest of the mail delivered to the same address bore the name stretched from shoulder to shoulder on Sundays. Simpson hasn’t been as good at answering the phone as he is retrieving the mail since this offense took place and calls to his agent went unreturned.

The teammate that just happened to be at Simpson’s house was OT Anthony Collins who thought the police surrounding the house was a pizza delivery they were expecting. He clearly must have smoked some of that ganja to concoct such a ridiculous story. He has not answered his phone but his lawyer W. Robert Lotz released a statement that claimed Collins “had no idea what it was about and after identifying myself and speaking to the officers, they let me go on my way. Unfortunately I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. . . I am confident that authorities will clear my name and announce I am not a person of interest and my name will be completely cleared from [the] incident”.

Jerome Simpson will suit up for the Bengals and play on Sunday although he is likely facing multiple charges stemming from this incident. The authorities have yet to clear Collins name but it is clear that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is giving these players the benefit of the doubt and they will be viewed as innocent until proven guilty in the court of law.

There have been many athletes who have either been caught with, arrested for or supporters of marijuana and when you look at a list it’s like a who’s who of every sport. There are indeed some sports like football and basketball that seem to have more sessions. Charles Oakley once claimed that nearly 60 percent of all NBA players used to get high before games.

Some of the big names who have been connected to the drug include: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Robert Parish, Isiah Rider, Allen Iverson, Mookie Blaylock, Marcus Camby, Carmelo Anthony,Chris Webber, Rasheed Wallace, Josh Howard and that’s just the NBA. The best story of an NBA pothead has got to be Corey Blount, not just because everyone already thought he was a chronic as his name is pronounced blunt, but the fact he got caught sending weed to his grandmother’s house. Blount had an 11 pound package on its way to see grandma, which was shadowed by authorities and after raiding his home they found another 29 pounds of herb.

Funny part about Blount is when he and his lawyer were forced to come up with a defense for the allegations they claimed it was intended for personal use. The Judge presiding over the case, Craig Hedric, said that “Cheech and Chong would have a hard time smoking that much”. Another NBA player closely tied to Marijuana is Cuttino Mobley, although he may not have ever been arrested for possession or any other infraction he looks to be the first ex-NBA player to own a legal Marijuana Dispensary.

The NFL has had some of the most memorable stoner athletes, Mike Vick’s stash hidden in the middle of a soda bottle, Randy Moss’ incident with a meter maid, Santonio Holmes “wake and bake” tweet, the Ricky Williams saga, there are a lot. Then there is the comparison of two former NFLers one a ex-Steelers and Chiefs RB and another a ex-Cowboys SB Champion. Both were eventually sentenced to 30 months for their crimes as the amount of product they were dramatically different. The RB was Bam Morris and he was caught with 6 pounds of dank in August of 2000 and was charged with distribution.

The Cowboy was Nate Newton who was driving down the highway when he was pulled over and officers found 213 pounds of bud in his car, he was charged with suspicion with intent to distribute yet he had over 207 more pounds than Morris. To make matters worse Newton posted $100K bond after the Nov. 2001 incident and was caught with another 175 pounds in his car just 5 weeks later. All in all Newton was caught with 388 pounds of bud in just 5 weeks and Morris was caught with “just” 6 pounds yet these two athletes served the same amount of time in prison.

There are some other great stories from athletes in other sports who have been connected to Miss Mary Jane. One of my all-time favorites is Lance Mackey and you may be asking yourself who the fuck is that guy, but this guy is a 4-time Iditarod Champion (Dog Sledding Race). Mackey didn’t just smoke weed once in a while, he admitted to smoking pot during the long race. Women’s Tennis star Jennifer Capriati stormed onto the scene but in just a few years the young 15 year old phenom had a 6 month stretch was caught for shoplifting and possession of Marijuana in Florida.

Michael Phelps smoked his competition at the Beijing Summer Olympic Games earning 8 Gold Medals before returning home to rip a few Bong loads while at the University of South Carolina. During the 1998 Winter Olympic Games Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati nealy lost his Gold Medal due to a positive test for THC. The snowboarder claims that he was just in a hotel room that was being hot-boxed and that he didn’t actually consume any of the skunky bud.

The greatest stoner athlete story of mine has to be Baylor Bears TE Willie Jefferson and WR Josh Gordon who were celebrating a 55-7 ass whooping of the Kansas Jayhawks. The two got the munchies and decide to travel over to Taco Bell for some Fourth Meal action at 2:15 in the morning. Too bad for the young men they fell asleep in the drive-thru lane and both were arrested after police woke them up and recovered a large bag of marijuana from the center console.

The real question is why do so many athletes find the need to smoke pot? Is it as simple as the fact that unlike alcohol you are able to consume a substance and relax without feeling the after effects the next day? Or is it that poet Allen Ginsberg was right when he explained that cannabis creates this skewed perception that slows down time? Could Marijuana be perceived as a performance enhancing drug? U.S. Anti-Doping Agency Senior Managing Director Larry Bowers knows that “one of the affects of marijuana is that it removes inhibitions, it makes them [athletes] not afraid”.

In a study by the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs showed that athletes are more likely to use the substance because they enjoyed its effects. The athletes were less likely to use it as a way to deal with stress showing that the use of athletes tends to be more recreational instead of using the drug as a crutch in response to that individuals problems. Ph.D. Jennifer Buckman said that “one thing that stood out is that athletes were more likely to use marijuana because they thought it was pleasurable” but went on to explain the exception. The study found that those athletes who were unable to curb their habit during their competitive season were more likely to be effected in a negatively.

I don’t know if I necessarily agree with Bowers or tend to side with Dr. Buckman but the fact of the matter is consuming marijuana in any manner is illegal federally.  Until that changes you are going to continue to see athletes and many other types of people arrested for consuming this plant. There is one thing that I do know, that the grass is always greener when you got the green to spend.


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